Friday, February 27, 2004

She is the most beautiful person I have ever known.

I look into her eyes and that is the only thing that I can think off. She is the most beautiful person I have ever known. I look into her eyes and I see love. I see faith and affection. I see a heart of gold, a mind so pure as the clouds in the sky. A person who cares not about herself but all around her. A person who is always ready to help others. A person who gives and only gives.

Her voice is like music to me, melodious as no music I have heard before. Her words are so simple, as uncomplicated with any traits of selfishness, so surreal. Her touch is so soothing that it can heal any wound however mortal or any heart however crushed.

I always feel that I am not worthy of her. I am not good enough for someone so angelic, so divine. But I can try. I can try to make and keep her happy, as happy as no one else in this world is. I love her. She is the most beautiful person I have ever known.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Unlike some of my more talented friends like Anant, Koushik, Prerna, Swapna, and a load of others, I am not a very creative person. I admire creativity, I like being creative to the best of my abilities, but unfortunately I am not very good at it. I am also not very good at singing, playing football, and a host of other stuff. But that is beside the point. Being not-so-creative, when on some occasions, I do manage to create something, I am so delighted and impressed with my own work, that I can't stop showing it off to everyone.

Last week, we (me, Anant, Sumeet, Prerna and Ashish) had gone to the bookstore, Crossroads, near Residency road. Prerna had bought a set of drawing / painting equipment (a drawing book, pencils, erasers, paints and brush, and the whole lot) and a pair of fancy scissors. Coming back, she started making a card, which was later given to Tonmoy. Seeing her sketching and painting, all my creative spirits sort-of welled up inside me, and I felt this inexplicable urge to draw. So when we went over to spend the day at Prerna's this saturday, I started sketching for Souradeep's birthday card.

Ultimately, I sketched two cards. I liked the way the first one turned out. The second one was drawn purely from imagination, and was not up to the mark. I didn't want to try and paint the cards also, since I didn't want to spoil my sketches. So Prerna painted them. She did a really good job, I think. So now we have formed this new partnership for making birthday cards, me doing the sketches, and Prerna painting.

I actually enjoyed sketching this weekend. And I am looking forward to doing it again. But I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much, had I been sketching on my own in my house. The fact that all of us were there, each doing something on his or her own, with occasional remarks, and jokes cracked all added up to make the experience nice. Being not-so-creative, I suppose, I need some inspiration from my surrounds to get the creative spirit in me running.

Friday, February 20, 2004

A Bug's Life

It was born through the carelessness of two people, two engineers. It was born because they didn't make the best use of modern preventive measures that are easily available. The two concerned people were not professional in their approach, in their interaction and communication. They made a slip and it was born.

It spent its early infancy in the confines of the virtual world. It was of course easily visible to anyone who cared to check. No one did. And so it lay dormant but potentially devastating, nurtured by the inevitability of doom, the growing probability of success in the purpose of its life, with every moment that it lived without detection. Had someone cared to check, it could have been squashed to premature termination easily, as had been so many of its contemporary friends. But it lived long enough, till what was virtual, became reality, hard as silicon.

As it came out of its shell metamorphised into a destroyer, it was met with utter confusion. No one knew what was happening. All they knew was that what was happening was not supposed to happen. In maturity, it, the cause of all the anomalous occurances, was not so transparent. It was hidden, encased, packaged, and as much as anyone looked to see what was wrong, no one could spot it.

And so confusion reigned for a long time, till someone, again an engineer, had a brainwave. The problem should be searched at the source, or so he reasoned. So he went back to the beginning, and looked into the original virtual presence. He did not know what to look for, but he did know, where to begin his search. Little by little, he sifted his way through a pile of data, and soon he came upon the tell-tale signs, that told the tale.

It's life was over. It was found, and would be removed from any future presence. But it sighed, and smiled contended. It had served its purpose and lived its life to the full. It had lived a bug's life.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Anant was complaining that my blog posts were taking the form of cryptic one-liners by the day. So I have decided to post a cryptic multi-liner instead.


The child sat quietly looking condescendingly at all that was happening down below. He was in no hurry. The people down there were scurrying about making their clumsy attempts at putting things together, and were failing half the time. Those, whose attempts succeeded, would be jubilant at their success, and would dance around with joy, uninterested in the longer term results of their deeds. Those who failed, would lament as if their life had become worthless.

It was so funny. Little did they know that the key to all their success lay in his hands and in his hands alone. And while they perspired unknowingly, he could sit back, and laugh at them. It felt so good to be so powerful. He felt like he was God!

His eyes fell on one particular young man. The first time the young man tried, he was late. Others stepped in before him, shoved him aside, and he was left standing, eyeing the trophy wistfully, while they carried it away. He so wanted to have it, and now it was gone. If only he had been a little faster. But now it was no use worrying about it. The child up there looked at the forlorn expression on the young man's face and smiled, shaking his head.

Suddenly, the young man noticed that the trophy had been left ungaurded. He did not know what had happened but there it was, out in the open once again. He was not the only one to notice it. Other people were also making their way towards the trophy. In the mad rush that followed, the young man suddenly found that he was ahead of the crowd. The only obstacle in his path were the keepers of the trophy. He had to deal with them somehow.

The child also noticed what was happening. Presently he sighed. It was time for him to act. He got up from his comfortable position, and picked up the small gold bow lying near his feet. He picked up the gold arrow next to it, and put it on the bowstring. He knelt down on one knee, looked down, and took careful aim. He pulled the string and held it for one second. He let go the string.....

Thursday, February 12, 2004

If you do not say, how will I know? And I know that you are not going to read this, but I wanted to ask anyway.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

No news is good news. At least as far as work is concerned. Doesn't hold in other fronts of life though.
More sleepless hours...more tension...chips are supposed to be tasty, why are these particular ones leaving a bad taste in the mouth?

Monday, February 09, 2004

Brief weekend update:

Went to a bowling alley for the first time in my life on Friday. It was part of a small celebration in our office work group, at the end of the last project. Amassed an impressive debut score of 133, which ended up third highest in the group of 27. Incidentally, the second highest scorer (135) was also making his debut, and was in my team only. Our team won.

Went over to Chennai on Friday night. My father had come there for a couple of meetings. Spent Saturday with him, and came back by bus on Sunday. Reached here in the evening. I plan to write more about this trip in a future post.

While I was in Chennai, I received a phone call from my supervisor. He gave me the news that the chip had come out of fab, and initial tests where showing some resetting problems. Since I was the one who had designed the reset circuits, I was really scared. For the past 36 hours, I have been trying to imagine all sorts of things that could have gone wrong, and none of the thoughts were very promising! Anyway, a few minutes back, I came to know that it was a testing problem, and they have managed to reset the chip after all. Whew!

Friday, February 06, 2004

Was it as simple as it sounded? Or was there an inner meaning to those few apparently simple words? Why can't I just accept them at their face value and try to be happy? Why do I keep reading hidden thoughts among those words? Why do I imagine to find hope where there is none?

Am I being paranoid?