Walking along the course of life, one occassionally comes upon a stage, where every thing around him starts to change. People start behaving differently, topics of conversation change. The way one looks at life changes. That's when one realises that one is not young any more, that it is time to step into another stage of life, a stage which demands more maturity, capability to handle complex problems, and ability to make difficult decisions.

Over the last few months, everywhere I see, there is change. The least of my careeristic friends are planning ahead for years. Everywhere that I care to look at, friends are planning to tie the Knot of Life. And everywhere that I care to look at , there are problems. Different problems for different people, tailor-made problems, but problems nevertheless. Seldom have I come across anyone who has crossed this stage smoothly, with no problems, and acceptance everywhere.

Earlier, when the outlook of people was different, and it was accepted that our parents know what was best for us, and all decision-making was left upon them, life was pretty simple for the prospective groom and the bride, at least till the marriage. They just had to go along as they were told, and did not have to think and decide for themselves. These marriages were more successful also, statistically speaking. But that does not mean that people were happier. It just means that acceptance levels were higher, people went through life making compromises without complaining.

The thought processes of people have changed. "I have the right to chose how and with whom I am going to live my life" is a valid statement now. Even parents accept that their children are going to feel that way, and there is nothing they can do about it. Most parents say that they are okay with it. They seem to be the most 'open-minded' parents of all times ... till one fine day, the son or daughter comes home, and says, "Mom, Dad, I have found the match of my life!" That is when all open-mindedness disappears. Not all the time. But too often to say that times have changed, and people accept the more 'modern' views freely.

As I mentioned, several of my friends are getting married these days, or planning to shortly. Most of them have found their match themselves. I cannot think of any one couple, however, for whom the match was accepted smoothly, without hiccups, without aggressive resistance from one or both families involved. A prospective match, who would have passed all criteria, had he/she been selected through arrangement by parents, fails to impress the parents, when selected by the son or daughter.

How can one explain the case when on knowing the guy for about eight years, and knowing about the feelings for half the time, the girl's mother refuses her support when the wedding is proposed and planned? To the extent that she did not ultimately attend the wedding when it happened! Yes that is an extreme case. But it just goes to show that whatever we say, it is still not accepted in our culture and ways of life that a person, who is old enough to take part in electing the leader of the nation for five to ten years is not mature enough to select his or her partner for life.

Acceptance is not the only problem. For those who are lucky enough to cross the hurdle of acceptance in a relatively calm manner, problems may and do arise in other fronts, like the two family's opinions about the hows and whens and wheres involved in tying the knot. It then falls upon the bride and groom to decide, which way to go. And either path you take, you have one disgruntled family. Starting life together with a set of angry relatives is not very comfortable. And in trying to solve a problem of difference of opinion, if one judiciously takes a middle path, one ends up worse off, because no one got what they wanted. So what is the solution to this dilemma?

All of us face these problems. Some give in to sheer pressure enforced upon them, others manage to scrape through with minor bruises. Afterwards, one thinks with his newfound wisdom, if only I had acted like this or that ... it would have saved me a lot of pain. Would it have really? After all, life is a lesson, one learns it when one's through!!